When you have a connection with someone, it is almost required to be open with them. Any kind of connection that counts is one that is trying to be or is, transparent. Often times we present our selves as what we think people want to see. We let these images that we feel others need cloud our raw form. How can we expect honesty if we can't give it?
We are told in our lives that we have to be there for one another. What I have failed to realize is that people have made that sound way easier than it is. It's as if your telling a child to speak without teaching them how. Feelings, just like children, need to be nurtured and given time to grow. On the other hand, they have to be taken seriously and be shown respect. Growing up as an only child with a single mother I have learned to deal with many things on my own. One of these many things were my emotions. I have had no trouble sharing my thoughts on certain opinions, but sharing my truest of feelings with anyone but has been a foreign language that I am still having trouble trying to speak.
As my mind grows with age so do my emotions. I have since stopped try to avoid the conversations and actions that require me to get uncomfortable. Just as standing in a room naked can make one uncomfortable, sharing one's most private thoughts can be just the same. This was one of the hardest hills to get over in many of my personal connections. People around me started to fear that I had no feelings at all because of my lack of expression. In the end, I felt the loneliest I have ever felt in my life.
Moving forward I have decided that I don’t want to know what lonely feels like anymore. As hard and gut-wrenching bearing your soul to someone is, it’s worth it. That look of acceptance and loyalty in your loved one's eye when they accept your soul in its most raw form is the most rewarding feeling to ever grace a heart.
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My name is Bri. I am a twenty- one year old trying to survive in Los Angeles.